So I've been putting this off for a long time...

Deleting all the photos I have of BabyMoxy or Heather

I did it today, I deleted every photo she ever sent me, every Nude/semi nude, dirty picture that she has ever sent. all 50 megabytes of em. including the "I <3 My JonnyBear" and all the other BullSHIT that she tried to make me believe.

I dunno why it took me so long but I did it. I'll be burning all the crap she bought me tomorrow, all the cards, and I love yous.

All the shit that she didn't mean.


Starting Fresh for my Birthday. Going to go out with J if she will, if not her I'll ask another girl out.

I hate that I love people even when I don't get it in return. So often I'm ignored and made to think someone out there actually cares about me only to have them fuck around with my feelings and then after I try to leave they only Fuck around with them some more.

I loved her and I was sure she was the one I was going to marry, Probably the only one I could have. So many things I wanted to do with her. and Now she's all too eager to do them with some douche that she's only been dating a few months.

I wish I didn't care so easily for people. It's the one thing I wish I could take away.

Sorry if this felt like whining, I just hate my birthday and it's close to being here again. Another year of my life wasted alone, won't be my first and I'm sure it won't be the last.

I held out for as long as I could, I tried so hard to make a fucking Online relationship real. But they're not Real. It's a cruel joke, an illusion as to how pathetic you really are.

I hope she's happy with him, and I hope they stay together a long time, because I won't be. I wish I could just quit, quit loving, quit being fooled so easily, quit thinking, quit failing.

Love sucks.

~Jonathan